“Uncertainty”

It’s a funny little principle for change – when you are uncertain of something, there’s a mystery. When that uncertainty vanishes, that mystery is gone, replaced by a true what is.

I’m an imaginative intellectual. I have a tried ‘n’ true method of just randomly understanding greater things than I should be able to. (The most recent example being that physical communication causes brains to synch, which I’ve known forever [< ~5yrs], being one of the things that draws me to communication and story-telling. I came to this idea like all shaman do, by experiencing it for myself. I guess neuroscience is still behind.) I should lack the training or the background, or even the facts that should come before thoughts of depth, but that isn’t the way that it works.

But what about that mystery of uncertainty? Since I am the imaginative sort and there’s a lot I don’t know (“Why isn’t my toilet electric?”), there’s plenty of opportunity for me to go after that uncertainty and figure out some sort of wuzzy answer.

That crazy answer will still have that percentage of “…or is it?”, inviting “random” elements to change that answer… until verification, when the mystery is solved completely. This is all well and good for maths and sciences, philosophies and disciplines, but what about the unknown when it comes to social behavior?

There’s the age old problem “What if I’m the only one?” a split-perspective question asking what if I’m the only person and everyone else is something placed here, like a program or a robot? Since I can’t ever be sure other people are other people as I can’t read their minds, or really know that they are thinking at all. The other perspective, the one I subscribe to, is that everyone/thing is a figment of my imagination.

And that’s where the uncertainty principle comes in. With no idea of who is who or what is what, I’ve created a wonderfully complex weaving of insanity that resembles something of a “material” world. With no general understanding to get in the way, I’ve created boundless extremes and middles, I’ve created beings and structure, given rise to physical laws…, but maybe only so that they can broken with unknowing, too.

And what of relationships? And here I don’t just mean courtship, but every kind – family, friend, enemy, casual acquaintance, even people you don’t speak to but just catch eyes with… All of these are relationships. With any degree of uncertainty or any amount of want, how easy would it be to create a buncha “people” to help define what I need defining?

There was a whole world that existed before me. I know that, but whose was it? Did I take control simply because I had the idea that I already was? Or is history, as has been said by better men for me, the vindicating force that was needed to bring me here? I had that thought as I hope we all do, I am.

The days of campfire legends and communal feasts aren’t gone, but without the understanding of what they are, they have no meaning anymore. Well, that isn’t true, but that shared social experience is rare. And that isn’t completely true, either, I’m just negative out of spite.

I don’t have to hold a bonfire to tell a story. In one way, I’m doing that now, but without the act of physically speaking, there will be no neural-synching. I will just be regarded as a madman, which is also true. Mad with power! It’s helped a lot, over the last year, to have that startling realization that as the idiot in control, I had been giving a lot of power to others, making them seem scary or detestable. I can take that power away. And have in a lot of cases. What’s scarier than that?

But what’s that matter? With losing the uncertainty that anything is any thing, it means everything will change. I suspect it will disappear. I’ve brought myself around to realize that it really is all just smoke and mirrors, an illusory world I created because…? I was lonely? I was afraid? I was young?

With the use of common electricity, my stupid-machine brain can be fooled into thinking and feeling and sensing all kinds of things, even as I just sit here on the computer. Is the computer real, or is it a device created with uncertainty so that I can actually confront my own thoughts, instead of wishing them away? A tool of focus created of pure necessity and meditation?

There’s another age-old principle, too – that we’re all connected. “I am you and you is me, and he, she, we, are all us.” And maybe that’s the unifying theory that keeps all our worlds linked together, or maybe it’s just another creation of uncertainty, “What if I’m the only one?” If I don’t know that I am then it would be easy enough to see others.

Even a bug can be your friend; how long until it isn’t a bug anymore, but a person? Jim, shares your bench and your coffee.

I seek communication, the phone rings or a txt msg. I seek connection, some puzzle pieces fall together (ie- out of nowhere, the heads-up on a free-showing of ye olde “101 Dalmatians” [with time to act!] and/or neuroscience arrives at my doorstep via imagination.) Or whatever I want. And somehow, if these things fail to act for me instantly, I can take the matter into my own hands (somewhat of a pun?) and do it myself.

And worse, I can decide to do nothing but will it into being. All these actions, geared towards a similar purpose, will have the same results. Because that’s what they’re for.

So, I seek communication and connection, but the values I have for these items are lacking. There’s no accurately processing anything related to that, so with that amount of uncertainty and mystery, it’s easy enough to form that kind of heavy stuff into a person, or persons, or an entire world. Now I have the opportunities to understand these things, to define them at last, because I created the tools to do so.

Voice and language created an entire cult of linguistic existence, the constant thought that language creates reality. And it does, every expressed thought mingles with abstraction somewhere and becomes a reality. Our entire development as a species is proof enough, I’d say. Same true for every other species. They don’t all behave the same, but the goals are the same, be social enough to survive, find food enough to survive, see to the young, don’t die.

Now, more than we ever could be before, we are media’s children. There’s all kinds of chatter out there, all of it turning into something. That means there’s all kinds of uncertainty out there. A bunch of “people” thinking my thoughts for me, doing my legwork, because it’s what I want. They feed me the information I want to take away that uncertainty, so my mysteries vanish. In return, I create more things to satisfy more uncertainty. What’s left at the end, then? When I finally, at last, understand that everything is nothing more than a creation?

A dark space? And then I go to sleep to forget all that I’ve learned so that when I wake up, there can be something again?

Or is that why answers only breed more questions? So that there can never really be an end to creation… if you don’t want there to be?

The world needs an unifying act to bring it together. This could be a wondrous thing, such as the invention of a certain thing, a global understanding, etc.; or, most likely, a catastrophe. The remnants of a destroyed species banding together to remember some old values to communication and connection.

No matter the course, it has to happen. It will. It’s well past overdue, I can only have wished it would have happened so much sooner, when we were just a few roaming the countryside. There’s a lot of scary terror out there, what haven’t we had to create to defend against that unknown?

Humanity has a predator, I can’t decide if it’s stupidity or ignorance. It works slow… until it doesn’t. At some point, there’ll be a massive spike in activity. Perhaps some out-of-work forces will also awaken at the time of exponents.

And since life is a story we share, albeit poorly, there’s our heroes, some hope, some connection, some togetherness, and the idea or want for change. Reluctant heroes, beaten, battered, scarred by the people that created them, yet act on our behalf anyway. Where are they now, and why wait until after it’s too late?

We have the tools to be together. We created them for that purpose, but what are they now but weapons made of uncertainty to fight more uncertainty. Does destruction lead to understanding? That’s a hard “yes,” but should it have to be that way? So much fear, yet even that is another story we’re just convincing ourselves with. We’re linked, dammit, why do we fight? What does “first” really mean?

These amazing contradictions of life are proof of its illusion. Some strange things will happen because I wrote this.

-j.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s